Choice Theory
Choice Theory, developed by Dr. William Glasser, focuses on personal choice, personal responsibility and personal transformation. In vision therapy, we use Choice Theory to help our students learn how to make excellent choices now and throughout life.
The Basics of Choice Theory:
What does this mean when working with children?
Choice Theory Tips:
Relationships
Choice Theory begins with relationships.
Creating a strong, respectful relationship with the child is the basis of success for Choice Theory.
Choosing techniques that support, instead of damaging, the relationship is vital.
Avoid Glasser’s “Seven Deadly Habits”: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing.
These behaviors destroy relationships. Analyze your behavior to be sure you are not using these habits unknowingly.
Instead, focus on the “Seven Caring Habits”: caring, listening, supporting, contributing, encouraging, trusting, and
befriending. The behaviors support and strengthen relationships.
Motivation
Children benefit from being internally motivated; however, external motivation is prevalent in much of classroom
management and parenting. Always ask yourself: What can you do to help a child become more internally motivated? Start by avoiding positive and negative reinforcements.
A consequence is known ahead of time and is not the same thing as a punishment.
It is fair and reasonable. Students can contribute ideas of possible consequences (choices, again!). Most importantly, they are imposed without emotion. Being angry or upset with the student will only worsen the situation.
On the other hand, punishments are imposed after the fact, tend to be excessive, and are imposed with emotion
(usually anger or frustration). Punishments result in resentment, rebellion, and resistance.
The Five Basic Needs & the Quality World
We all have basic needs: Belonging, Safety, Freedom, Power and Fun. These needs can have different strengths within different people, and often compete. Teachers and parents need to ensure these needs are met at home and in the
classroom.
Each person has a “Quality World”, stored as mental “pictures” unique to each individual. Nobody has the same Quality World as another person! This explains why one student works very hard and gets good grades, while a
second student doesn’t complete their work and gets poor grades without much thought. Good grades are in the first student's quality world, but not in the second’s quality world.
Using Choice Theory in the Classroom or Home
Offer choices – real choices -and let the child make a decision! It may sound simple, but this is often a challenge for adults to release control.
Using the following vocabulary will support the child’s use of Choice Theory:
· Is that a good choice?
· What do you want to gain from this situation?
· Is doing what you are doing getting you what you want?
· Are you willing to try something different?
· What is something that might work better for you?
Children do not like to be told what to do; in fact, no one does. Giving a child a choice actually gives a parent or teacher more control, especially if the adult chooses and offers the two options. Plus, you are teaching the child to take
responsibility for their actions and to make important decisions.
Provide the child with two options or help them to determine the two options available.
· One choice will be an appropriate, expected behavior with a positive consequence.
· The other will be an inappropriate behavior with a negative consequence.
For example:
External Control:
Abby is talking in class. The teacher tells her to stop talking. Abby ignores the teacher after a minute and continues to disturb the class. The teacher takes away Abby’s recess and Abby stops talking. The next day, Abby is back to talking again.
Internal Control:
Abby is talking in class. The teacher offers Abby two choices:
“Abby, if you choose to keep talking, then you choose to lose your recess today. If you choose to stop talking,
you will have time to complete your classwork. Please make a good choice.”
What if good choices are not occurring?
· Stand close to the student.
· Remind the whole group.
· Ask “what are you doing?” in a non-threatening manner.
· Give the teacher/parent “look” and use nonverbal cues to make your point.
· Give the child an option to temporarily exit the situation and go to the “chill out chair/spot” to compose their behavior
· Impose consequences.
A Few Final Tips
· No negotiations or power struggles allowed!
· Keep detailed, anecdotal notes. Use them to find the source of behaviors.
· Create opportunities for success. Failure is always difficult!
· Remain calm even if the child is not.
· Make sure the child knows the expectations and limits of the situation.
· Keep your emotions out of the situation.
· Remember that consequences are known ahead of time.
RECOMMENDED READING:
Choice Theory
by William Glasser
The Classroom of Choice
by Jonathan Erwin
Choice Parenting: A More Connecting, Less Controlling Way to Manage Any Child Behavior Problem
by Richard Primason
MORE INFORMATION ABOUT CHOICE THEORY:
http://www.connermusic.org/band/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/choice.pdf
http://thekidcounselor.com/articles/choice-theory/
http://www.ronitbaras.com/series-posts/choice-theory/#.VBmdivldVyU
The Basics of Choice Theory:
- The only person’s behavior I can control is my own.
- I am driven by five basic genetic needs: Survival, Love and Belonging, Power, Freedom, and Fun.
- I can satisfy these needs only by satisfying a picture or pictures in my Quality World. Of all I know, what I choose to put in my Quality World is most important.
- All I can do from birth to death is behave. All behavior is ‘total’ behavior and made up of four inseparable components: Acting, Thinking, Feeling, and Physiology.
- All total behavior is designated by verbs. For example, I am choosing to depress or depressing; instead of I am suffering from depression, or I am depressed.
- All total behavior is chosen, but I have direct control only over my acting (doing) component and my thinking component. I can however, control my feelings and physiology indirectly through how I choose to think and act.
- All we can give or get from other people is information. How I deal with that information is my choice.
- All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
- The problem relationship is always part of my present life.
- What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do with who we are today, but revisiting this painful past can contribute little or nothing to what we need to do now: improve an important, present relationship.
What does this mean when working with children?
Choice Theory Tips:
Relationships
Choice Theory begins with relationships.
Creating a strong, respectful relationship with the child is the basis of success for Choice Theory.
Choosing techniques that support, instead of damaging, the relationship is vital.
Avoid Glasser’s “Seven Deadly Habits”: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing.
These behaviors destroy relationships. Analyze your behavior to be sure you are not using these habits unknowingly.
Instead, focus on the “Seven Caring Habits”: caring, listening, supporting, contributing, encouraging, trusting, and
befriending. The behaviors support and strengthen relationships.
Motivation
Children benefit from being internally motivated; however, external motivation is prevalent in much of classroom
management and parenting. Always ask yourself: What can you do to help a child become more internally motivated? Start by avoiding positive and negative reinforcements.
A consequence is known ahead of time and is not the same thing as a punishment.
It is fair and reasonable. Students can contribute ideas of possible consequences (choices, again!). Most importantly, they are imposed without emotion. Being angry or upset with the student will only worsen the situation.
On the other hand, punishments are imposed after the fact, tend to be excessive, and are imposed with emotion
(usually anger or frustration). Punishments result in resentment, rebellion, and resistance.
The Five Basic Needs & the Quality World
We all have basic needs: Belonging, Safety, Freedom, Power and Fun. These needs can have different strengths within different people, and often compete. Teachers and parents need to ensure these needs are met at home and in the
classroom.
Each person has a “Quality World”, stored as mental “pictures” unique to each individual. Nobody has the same Quality World as another person! This explains why one student works very hard and gets good grades, while a
second student doesn’t complete their work and gets poor grades without much thought. Good grades are in the first student's quality world, but not in the second’s quality world.
Using Choice Theory in the Classroom or Home
Offer choices – real choices -and let the child make a decision! It may sound simple, but this is often a challenge for adults to release control.
Using the following vocabulary will support the child’s use of Choice Theory:
· Is that a good choice?
· What do you want to gain from this situation?
· Is doing what you are doing getting you what you want?
· Are you willing to try something different?
· What is something that might work better for you?
Children do not like to be told what to do; in fact, no one does. Giving a child a choice actually gives a parent or teacher more control, especially if the adult chooses and offers the two options. Plus, you are teaching the child to take
responsibility for their actions and to make important decisions.
Provide the child with two options or help them to determine the two options available.
· One choice will be an appropriate, expected behavior with a positive consequence.
· The other will be an inappropriate behavior with a negative consequence.
For example:
External Control:
Abby is talking in class. The teacher tells her to stop talking. Abby ignores the teacher after a minute and continues to disturb the class. The teacher takes away Abby’s recess and Abby stops talking. The next day, Abby is back to talking again.
Internal Control:
Abby is talking in class. The teacher offers Abby two choices:
“Abby, if you choose to keep talking, then you choose to lose your recess today. If you choose to stop talking,
you will have time to complete your classwork. Please make a good choice.”
What if good choices are not occurring?
· Stand close to the student.
· Remind the whole group.
· Ask “what are you doing?” in a non-threatening manner.
· Give the teacher/parent “look” and use nonverbal cues to make your point.
· Give the child an option to temporarily exit the situation and go to the “chill out chair/spot” to compose their behavior
· Impose consequences.
A Few Final Tips
· No negotiations or power struggles allowed!
· Keep detailed, anecdotal notes. Use them to find the source of behaviors.
· Create opportunities for success. Failure is always difficult!
· Remain calm even if the child is not.
· Make sure the child knows the expectations and limits of the situation.
· Keep your emotions out of the situation.
· Remember that consequences are known ahead of time.
RECOMMENDED READING:
Choice Theory
by William Glasser
The Classroom of Choice
by Jonathan Erwin
Choice Parenting: A More Connecting, Less Controlling Way to Manage Any Child Behavior Problem
by Richard Primason
MORE INFORMATION ABOUT CHOICE THEORY:
http://www.connermusic.org/band/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/choice.pdf
http://thekidcounselor.com/articles/choice-theory/
http://www.ronitbaras.com/series-posts/choice-theory/#.VBmdivldVyU